The Testament of Longinus: an Eerie Vampire Bible
Things that are forbidden and mysterious hold such terrible allure. Whether you are a vampire or not, you may find it difficult to resist reading this expanded account of the vampire Anti-Christ, Longinus. Can an RPG supplement with no rules or art find a place on your bookshelf? Depends how weird you are.
Let me first explain what The Testament of Longinus is not. It is not a sourcebook. It does not contain a map of Golgotha, or stats for Longinus, or new powers for Longinus’ followers. There’s no adventure set around a splinter group of radical Longinus fundamentalist vampires (hey, White Wolf…consider that my pitch!). There aren’t any images of Longinus looking majestic and messianic. There’s no art of any kind, in fact.
The Testament of Longinus is the vampire bible in 90 pages. It contains the primary works attributed to Longinus, as well as apocryphal vampire religious texts and an appendix of scholarly analysis. Aside from the publication page, there isn’t a single word in this book to indicate that it is a work of fiction. And that is utterly brilliant.
Longinus, in the real world, is the supposed name of the soldier who pierced Christ’s side while Christ was being crucified at Golgotha, effectively killing him. He’s sort of like the burglar who kills Peter Parker’s uncle in the first Spider-Man comic – a minor character who was later given a name, a backstory and all kinds of deeper meaning in subsequent retellings of his story. The name Longinus doesn’t appear in the “official” books of the Bible, only showing up some 700 years later. And the name itself is suspiciously similar to the Greek word for, “the guy with a spear.” In the Longinus ret-con, he has crazy adventures and eventually becomes a saint.
(Fun trivia: Golgotha means, “Place of Skulls.” And I know what you’re thinking and you’re too late. A metal band already took that for their name.)
In the World of Darkness, Longinus’ story turns out a little differently. The book is written mostly from his point of view (although there are pseudo-scholarly debates on whethre there were actually two authors). He is set up as a literal Anti-Christ. His life mirrors Christ’s in almost every way, but just a really screwed up version of it. Instead of a virgin, Longinus’ mom is a prostitute, etc. After he stabs Christ, the Earth shakes and Longinus raises the dead, in the horrible zombie sense. He then goes through some tribulations, gathers some followers, and becomes a powerful religious figure whose name rings down through the annals of vampire history.
So what would you do with such a book? The simplest use is background material for your Vampire: the Requiem or Hunter: the Vigil campaign. It gives a great deal of insight into vampire psychology and idealogy and could generate lots of ideas for adventures, or even an entire theological campaign. Because the book is so perfectly straight-faced, it makes an awesome prop. Imagine handing a copy to a group of hunters (after you’ve bashed the corners a bit and given it a thorough coating of dust). “You find this at the bottom of the tomb.” Or, if you’re into the LARP thing, you could keep it tucked under one arm as you play, or keep it conspicuously on a coffee table.
Do not underestimate the lure of the forbidden, however. I am a decidedly non-religious person, but even to me, the close parallels between The Testament of Longinus and actual biblical stories make this book feel wrong. And I mean that as a compliment. Reading it is creepy and unnerving. It takes itself so literally that you’d hesitate to leave it out where your “straight” (ie, non-vampire gamer) friends might find it. You certainly wouldn’t want your mom knowing you were reading it. I suspect the authors (the ineffable Wood Ingham along with Genevieve Podleski) would be pleased to hear that.
Finally, there is a sort of central mystery of Longinus as presented in this book, and it’s something that could deeply affect the World of Darkness or your particular campaign, depending on how you look at it. Longinus believes himself to be a tool of God, not a creature of Satan. He knows that the horrible things he does in his life (and unlife) are evil, but that they are God’s will as acts of vengeance on humanity. If true, that particular tidbit of sacrilege casts the World of Darkness in a whole new shadow. On the other hand, there is the matter of the “Dark Man,” who tells this “tool of God’s vengeance” tale to Longinus’ mom. He may well have been Satan playing a particularly devilish trick. The Prince of Lies indeed.
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June 11th, 2009 3:11 PM
Wait, is this out now? I really like the WoD metafiction, from the old Book of Nod & Chronicle of the Black Labyrinth up till The…whatever that Dracula book was called.
June 11th, 2009 3:16 PM
I couldn’t find it at amazon, but it’s up at DriveThru.
June 11th, 2009 4:03 PM
Just a small correction.
The only time I’ve ever heard that Longinus killed Jesus was when I watched the movie Constantine staring Keanu Reeves. Historically, it has always been believed by Christians that Christ died on the cross of asphyxiation BEFORE Longinus stabbed him. This is shown by the fact that blood and water poured out of the wound. A detail only found in Luke’s Gospel. Luke, being a doctor, seems to be making sure that the detail that Christ died of asphyxiation was clear.
Is it important to know that to enjoy The Testament of Longinus? No, and I’m sure it’s a heck of a fun read, but ever since I saw the movie Constantine, it kinda bugs me when people get that detail wrong. Yes, the movie and this book are works of fiction so it’s no big deal. Just as long as you know what the actual Christian Tradition says about the subject.
June 11th, 2009 4:10 PM
Fair enough, but I guess my only counterpoint is…well, there are LOTS of Christian traditions, and you can probably find a dozen different Longinus stories without even trying too hard. And it’s pretty conclusive that they’re all works of fiction themselves, since Longinus himself is only ever mentioned in passing, and in an apocryphal text at that. Everything about him was made up an embellished centuries after the fact.
These entwining spirals of fictions based on fictions sure can get confusing. Christianity needs a good editor!
June 11th, 2009 4:46 PM
Well Daarck– to the Vampire myth, the idea that blood came out, NOT water, is important, I think– like, a drop of blood from Jesus landed on Longinus’ lips & made him a vampire.
I think.
Is the book pdf only? Shame if it is; I don’t cotton to pdfs.
June 11th, 2009 8:22 PM
Yea, the point of the spear stabbing was to prove that Jesus was already dead, and I was under the impression that the spear was one hundred feet long and embedded in the moon after a boy piloting giant cyborg clone of his dead mother used it to kill an angel.
June 11th, 2009 10:30 PM
Yes Ed, you’re right about Longinus. I wasn’t taking about him. If it helps, I specifically Capitalized the word “Tradition” to distinguish it from the other kind of definition that tradition has, which is “custom”. There are the capital “T” traditions that are held by all Orthodox Christians (ie. The Trinity, The Bible as the word of God…etc) and then there are the lower case traditions that are not (ie. how to dress for church, legends of the Saints…etc). Jesus dying of asphyxiation is a capital “T” Tradition. To explain anymore is to take the discussion somewhere inappropriate for this site and I’ve done enough of that. Oh, and by the way, this site ROCKS!
Mordicai, yes, I understand that the blood is important, which is fine, but the Bible text says blood and water came from His side. Blood from His heart, water from His lungs. I don’t think that really messes up any vampire mythology.
ggodo, I believe it might have been a giant cyborg ZOMBIE clone of his dead mother. There’s a difference.
June 11th, 2009 11:57 PM
I double-checked, and Testament of Longinus does state both blood and water came out. Interestingly (and very fittingly in the context of this discussion), two different versions of the same scene are described. Just one of the subtle ways the authors make the book feel “biblical.” Anyway, in the first version, Longinus checks and notes that Christ still lives, Christ looks at him, Longinus stabs him, and Christ cries out.
The second version is more abbreviated, and simply states that soldiers saw Christ was dead, then one of them walked up and stabbed him.
And that is the Word of Our Fake Vampire Bible.
June 12th, 2009 10:13 AM
Wow, cool. Very authentic-ish. I own The Book of Nod from the old World of Darkness universe (which was the story of Cain and the creation of the Vampires). The Longinus Testament sounds like it’s written in the same vain but even more so since the Book of Nod was heavily illustrated, which added a lot of atmosphere but took away from it’s “authenticity”. The art was way to contemporary. The prose was well done and very creepy though. I’ll have to take a look at this Longinus book. How much will it cost when it comes out in print? Are there any plans for it to come out in print?
June 12th, 2009 11:23 AM
Yeah, that book sounds really cool . . . and right up my alley, even though I never really got into playing Vampire. The historiography sounds excellent. Having two versions of the same event that conflict makes me drool. Do you have a hard copy ed? I might have to take a look at it.
June 12th, 2009 11:57 AM
My understanding is that this is a pdf-only book (which is a shame, because a lot of its strength I think lies in it existing as a physical object that players could interact with).
June 12th, 2009 12:24 PM
PDF only would be kinda sad, however I guess you could print it out on parchment style paper and then roll it up as a scroll. After all that was what book were in Rome. Actually binding them came about much later. That’s why I kept giving you guys those handouts as scrolls.
June 12th, 2009 12:38 PM
Yes, although in this case, it’s presented as a modern-day translation of the original text, with footnotes and appendices and such. So it would make sense as a bound book.
June 12th, 2009 12:40 PM
Ah . . .
June 12th, 2009 12:55 PM
Daarck, I’m fairly sure that your last statement is debated more than the bible itself. I’m still not sure what any of that means.
June 13th, 2009 3:25 PM
Hi all. Wood here.
So yeah, I know about the Christian tradition. Which is why Longinus is a saint and everything.
I spent like five years doing a research thesis on ancient religious narratives, and a lot of the stuff in the Testament riffs on that (the Gospel of Nicodemus, by the way, ends with Jesus descending to Hell and kicking Satan’s ass. It’s amazing). The multiple-author thing is partly a reference to Biblical scholarship in certain books (Isaiah, particularly), but also to the fact that I wasn’t the only author.
A load of other stuff riffs on real world scholarly stuff, too, from the name of the editor in chief right down to the mentions of apocryphal criticism. I had fun with it.
And yeah, Ed. I am sort of pleased that you wouldn’t want to tell your mum about reading it.