Geek Chic: the Absolute Greatest Gaming Table Ever
Fortunately, it's also drool resistant.
Most of the time, when I review a gaming product, the key question I have to answer for potential readers is, “Do you want this?” With these stunning hand-made gaming tables by Geek Chic, such a question would be stupid. Of course you want it.
Geek Chic has been in business for about 18 months. Founder Robert Gifford is a gamer himself – after years of pondering the lack of high-end gaming furniture, he decided to fill the market gap himself. The result is a series of gorgeous tables and cabinets that are the stuff gamer dreams are made of. And I mean that literally, since I’ve spent hours daydreaming the ultimate gaming table. These tables surpass anything I’ve ever dreamed up.
Lest you think I’m exaggerating, feast your eyes on The Sultan, Geek Chic’s top of the line table, pictured above and below. The gaming surface is recessed into the table, and you can cover the recess with a false table top. Need to stop mid-game for dinner? No problem. Need to make the dining room look respectable when the boss comes over for dinner? Easily done. This feature was also commonly referred to as “the cat deflector.”
Each player “bay” has a fold down writing surface, dice rolling areas, cup holders below the playing surface, and slots for keeping all your books. Note the handles on the drawers. They look kind of like the ones you find on old library card catalogs, don’t they? Ever notice how those card catalog handles were always in fine condition, even after a few decades of constant daily use by hundreds of people (and school children)? That’s just a small example of the attention to detail used in constructing these tables. Also, take a moment to ponder the sad fact that you are likely the last generation that will attach any meaning whatsoever to the word “card catalog.”
Geek Chic makes all their tables entirely from hardwood. There’s no particle board covered with a veneer here, it’s pure class all the way. The Washington state based company uses only wood from sustainable domestic stocks, mostly black walnut, cherry and maple. They avoid the use of exotic woods and place a high priority on using environmentally responsible practices.
They make smaller models, such as the Emissary, above. Cabinets specially made for GMs or to hold your comic book and Magic cards are also available.
Now, the question you’re all asking: what’s this going to set me back? Well, look, Geek Chic makes no bones about the fact that they are making a high-end luxury item for gamers who have a fair amount of disposable income. The smallest table with the fewest features costs about $1,500. The Sultan as pictured runs over $11,000. You can customize their base models easily, adding or subtracting more cup holders, drawers, dice towers, etc. You can also request more open-ended customizations (I want one with space for a built-in mini-fridge) or even ask for a totally custom-built table, though there’s no guarantee they’ll be able to handle what you want. While the cost doesn’t include shipping and handling, the company will actually bring your table to your home and assemble it there for you. This is a major consideration since some of these tables would never fit through a doorway.
It probably seems insanely decadent to even think of purchasing a game table that costs almost as much as some cars. There are two things about these tables that I think make them make sense (assuming you’ve got the money). First, they’re beautiful and would look great in any dining room. If you’re thinking about buying some nice furniture at some point and you happen to be a gaming family, the cost is not really that much more than any other piece of hardwood furniture. Keep in mind that when I say, “not really that much more,” I’m speaking in relative terms here. If you’re dropping $1,000 on a dining room table, what’s another $800? Second, when Geek Chic talks about their pieces being “heirloom quality,” they are very serious. Your grandchildren will be playing D&D 12th Edition on one of these if you buy one today.
Ahhh, forget the justifcations. If you’ve got the dough to blow, you want one of these because they’re so freaking sweet. Here’s the official Geek Chic website.
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July 8th, 2009 2:49 PM
OMIGOD that is SEXY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
July 8th, 2009 3:14 PM
Those corners are wasted space. I’d need them to install removable, stainless steel containers for chips and cheeseballs. Maybe smaller side containers to hold servings of dip or salsa.
July 8th, 2009 3:27 PM
I have some serious wood after reading this post.
Sorry, had to.
July 8th, 2009 3:36 PM
I saw these tables at Origins, too. They are absolutely gorgeous. Everything Ed said is true. Now to start playing the lottery so I can afford one.
July 8th, 2009 3:53 PM
Furniture is expensive; this seems pretty compatible! Heck, I wants, I wants. Lifestyle wise, I’m leaving the Ikea part of my life & into the Crate & Barrel & Gothic Cabinet part of my life– with any luck at some point I’ll be getting one of these babies.
Or at LEAST an overhead projector that beams the map down onto the table!
July 8th, 2009 5:13 PM
So, if I had room in my dorm, I’d totally buy one of these. Unfortunately, I haven’t yet hit the Ikea stage of life and really have no idea where I’d put a table bigger than any room I’ve ever slept in.
July 8th, 2009 6:25 PM
Those are insanely awesome tables.
July 8th, 2009 9:42 PM
Ho-oly crap, that is a sexy table…
July 9th, 2009 1:49 PM
Tables? In most of my games, we sit on couches and comfortable chairs. In some cases we use low coffee tables, in others we don’t use a table at all. In one game we all have laptops and we use virtual mapping and dice software. (this makes it a lot easier to avoid the curious toddlers) If I was setting up my ultimate game room I’d have a bigscreen on one wall projecting a virtual map. Possibly on two walls to make it easier for us to sit all around the room. It also has the advantage of being able to display visual aids. Right now we use maptool (http://rptools.net/), but maybe WotC will release their 3D mapping program and character visualizer one of these years.
July 10th, 2009 5:02 PM
That table is just awesome! Now I know what one of my first purchases would be if I struck it rich. The only thing I can think that would be neat to add are ethernet ports so my players who bring laptops and myself as the DM/GM could have net access while playing.
July 10th, 2009 7:08 PM
Those are truly awesome pieces, and I say that as a fellow gamer and furniture maker! I can see from the visible joinery that those are some solidly built pieces and it is not exageration to say that your grandchildren will be inheriting any of those.
I would love to build something like this for someone but everyone thinks that custom furniture is stratospherically expensive. No one can beat Ikea on price, but once you start to move beyond that (and/or realize that you can really only assemble Ikea furniture *once*), custom made can be competitive with regular stores. I apologize if I seem too commercial, I just hate seeing people put up with over-priced crap thinking they could never afford something better. A better world is possible, I tell you all!
August 18th, 2010 6:47 PM
Great product, but I waited for nearly ONE YEAR for mine to be delivered. Yes, that’s right–one year. Customer service friendly, but ineffective. They simply can’t deliver the volume of goods that they’ve promised (and taken deposits for!) Even the President of the company, Robert Gifford, was unable to meet a delivery date (by two months). That was the pattern throughout the transaction: over promise, under deliver.
Great product, but ask for interest on your deposit and sit back to wait for a very, very long time.