Worldwake Delayed in China. You’ll Never Guess Why.
January 28th, 2010 by Ed Grabianowski
Worldwake prereleases in China have been delayed and are now rescheduled for February 6-7. The launch parties will be held February 16-17. This directly affects like 0.03 percent of Robot Viking readers, but you still might be interested in finding out why.
A brief post at wizards.com explains the situation. Go ahead and read it, it’s one of the more hilariously strange press releases I’ve read in a long time (and I’ve seen lots and lots of press releases).
Now start making jokes in the comments thread. Difficulty: no “slow boat” references.
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January 28th, 2010 5:13 AM
Wow. That’s leaving 0.03 of your readers in the cold.
January 28th, 2010 8:05 AM
I also cracked up. You know, I feel like a lot of gamers (especially High School age) are sort of Libertarians– hows THIS to a reason why you should let “big government” step in to moderate environmental emissions? Global Warming ruined your magic tournament!
January 28th, 2010 11:20 AM
I wanna know what was going on at the same time as the pre release and release parties that was such a muck up to the evil wizard’s plan that he resorted to conjuring a giant icecube to delay the event?
January 28th, 2010 2:23 PM
I got nothin’…
January 28th, 2010 2:34 PM
I can just picture it now… news footage of baby seals covered in magic cards while volunteers gently try to scrub them all off.
January 28th, 2010 2:39 PM
Truly a chilling prospect. I would hate for that to freze me out of the worldwake prerelease.
January 28th, 2010 4:38 PM
You should be PUNched in the neck for those.
January 28th, 2010 4:59 PM
What we really need is some kind of Rube Iceberg device.
I propose a hand crank that turns a turntable, pushing an old boot to kick a bowling ball down a slide into a bucket which falls past a book of matches, igniting them, lighting a fuse that sets off a bottle rocket that hits a hot air balloon, deflating it and causing it to crash on the iceberg, dumping a massive bucket of black paint over it. Then the black paint will absorb heat from the sun and melt the iceberg.
January 28th, 2010 5:28 PM
Way too complicated Ed, why not just get one of those guys to cast Burning Hands or something? I mean they work at Wizards of the Coast, they must be Wizards right?
January 28th, 2010 5:47 PM
But in this case, we need Wizards Off the Coast.
January 28th, 2010 6:12 PM
Nice Ed. I LOLed. and I hate text speak.
January 28th, 2010 11:44 PM
Dude, text speak ftw.
But yeah, good one, Ed. I gotta admit I wouldn’t have seen that coming.
January 29th, 2010 6:26 PM
*Applause*