Worldwake Delayed in China. You’ll Never Guess Why.
January 28th, 2010 by Ed Grabianowski
Ok, maybe now you can guess why.
Worldwake prereleases in China have been delayed and are now rescheduled for February 6-7. The launch parties will be held February 16-17. This directly affects like 0.03 percent of Robot Viking readers, but you still might be interested in finding out why.
A brief post at wizards.com explains the situation. Go ahead and read it, it’s one of the more hilariously strange press releases I’ve read in a long time (and I’ve seen lots and lots of press releases).
Now start making jokes in the comments thread. Difficulty: no “slow boat” references.
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January 28th, 2010 5:13 AM
Wow. That’s leaving 0.03 of your readers in the cold.
January 28th, 2010 8:05 AM
I also cracked up. You know, I feel like a lot of gamers (especially High School age) are sort of Libertarians– hows THIS to a reason why you should let “big government” step in to moderate environmental emissions? Global Warming ruined your magic tournament!
January 28th, 2010 11:20 AM
I wanna know what was going on at the same time as the pre release and release parties that was such a muck up to the evil wizard’s plan that he resorted to conjuring a giant icecube to delay the event?
January 28th, 2010 2:23 PM
I got nothin’…
January 28th, 2010 2:34 PM
I can just picture it now… news footage of baby seals covered in magic cards while volunteers gently try to scrub them all off.
January 28th, 2010 2:39 PM
Truly a chilling prospect. I would hate for that to freze me out of the worldwake prerelease.
January 28th, 2010 4:38 PM
You should be PUNched in the neck for those.
January 28th, 2010 4:59 PM
What we really need is some kind of Rube Iceberg device.
I propose a hand crank that turns a turntable, pushing an old boot to kick a bowling ball down a slide into a bucket which falls past a book of matches, igniting them, lighting a fuse that sets off a bottle rocket that hits a hot air balloon, deflating it and causing it to crash on the iceberg, dumping a massive bucket of black paint over it. Then the black paint will absorb heat from the sun and melt the iceberg.
January 28th, 2010 5:28 PM
Way too complicated Ed, why not just get one of those guys to cast Burning Hands or something? I mean they work at Wizards of the Coast, they must be Wizards right?
January 28th, 2010 5:47 PM
But in this case, we need Wizards Off the Coast.
January 28th, 2010 6:12 PM
Nice Ed. I LOLed. and I hate text speak.
January 28th, 2010 11:44 PM
Dude, text speak ftw.
But yeah, good one, Ed. I gotta admit I wouldn’t have seen that coming.
January 29th, 2010 6:26 PM
*Applause*